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Jul. 18th, 2006 11:04 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
mme_depompadourRose has gone to stay with ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
miss_gate. I think the Doctor wants his mother to adopt Fred 1.0. The freezing thing seems to have been abandoned for now I think. I don't know how I feel about the adoption plan, though it's nice to get mascara-girl out of my hair for a bit, she has been annoying me with her jolly and uncomplicated and generally fun pregnancy. I have been trying to establish a psychic connection to Fred 1.0, and willing her to give Rose piles at the very least, or varicose veins, or even just a slight queasy feeling. So far I have had little luck.
I myself have been feeling decidedlyunloved unwell. There seems to be no-one around to care, so I've been in and out of bed for the better part of a week. I did finish the nursery curtains and soft furnishings, I just need the Doctor to take me back to Jean-François' studio to pick up the crib and the commode and the chest of drawers and the writing table and the side table and the wardrobe and that reminds me I must work out how to do this embiggifying of rooms, maybe I shall stroke the caravan nicely and she can do it for me? The Doctor seems awfully preoccopied with travelling to Victorian England, I must say, I hope the caravan can still manage a quick jaunt to Paris, I fear she may be stuck in some sort of Victorian rut.
I went into the garden yesterday and contemplated a new phallic topiary. I have made some sketches and have currently set my sights on a nice bushy Japanese privet that's in dire need of some attention. I may well break out the shears later.
My ankles are all swollen and I feel sick.
I want a bacon sandwich for some reason.
miss_gate. I think the Doctor wants his mother to adopt Fred 1.0. The freezing thing seems to have been abandoned for now I myself have been feeling decidedly
I went into the garden yesterday and contemplated a new phallic topiary. I have made some sketches and have currently set my sights on a nice bushy Japanese privet that's in dire need of some attention. I may well break out the shears later.
My ankles are all swollen and I feel sick.
I want a bacon sandwich for some reason.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
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Date: 2006-07-18 11:08 am (UTC)*fusses over you*
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Date: 2006-07-18 11:47 am (UTC)*is fussed over*
That was nice. *ruffles your hair*
So, how
and where the fuckhave you been my sweet pomegranate of lurve?no subject
Date: 2006-07-18 11:49 am (UTC)*strokes your lovely skin*
I took Rose to Penelope's to stay with her. They are going to sort out what to do with that other Fred. I'm sorry it took me so long, oh my charming blossom of affection.
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Date: 2006-07-18 11:59 am (UTC)How long will she be away
she always manages to come back at the most inopportune times. I take it I still am not being consulted on the "what to do with that other Fred" matter, then? Despite my motherly attachment to her? Just wondering.It's ok, my dearest starfruit of desire, I needed some time away from you
and your hot cock. You seem to be getting on my nerves slightly less today, so it was obviously a good and necessary thing.*kiss*
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Date: 2006-07-18 12:04 pm (UTC)She might just stay there. It depends how well she gets on with Penelope. I shall spend more time with you while she is gone, because I fear our relationship is getting rubbish. I don't want it to be rubbish.
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Date: 2006-07-18 12:14 pm (UTC)You're not going off me again are you? I would hate for that to happen, as I am the mother of both of your illegitimate vat/womb children things.
I only wish it felt like you were more involved and interested in our offspring, my sweetest banana of lust. You did want babies, after all, it was your idea. Yet now I feel like we are not entirley on the same wavelength anymore, procreation-wise.
On the plus side, my dearest, I am pregnant and therefore horny as hell. So if you're interested, you know. And I am not yet showing, so you can pretend I'm not pregant at all, if you so desire. If that would make you happier.
Plus, look at my tits! I didn't think they could get any more impressive, but you learn something new every day. *strokes them fondly*
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Date: 2006-07-18 12:17 pm (UTC)They're lovely.
I have decided that I should choose one baby and keep it and let Penelope have the other one. And that two humans is too many so I have to pick one of you and leave the other one.
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Date: 2006-07-18 12:22 pm (UTC)Where did this come from? Why are two humans too many? What have done to bring this on suddenly?
You are a vicious alien bastard, you know that? Besides, I am the mother of these children, so if you think I'm going anywhere you are sadly mistaken, you stupid little boy.
*smack* STOP LOOKING AT MY TITS, you are not allowed to look at them ever again.
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Date: 2006-07-18 12:25 pm (UTC)One of you I can cope with, but the two of you together is just too much. Rose cries all the time and you... well, you're... volatile.
I have not decided which of you should stay, though as you are the mother of my children you are ahead on points. I have made a list and a graph and everything.
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Date: 2006-07-18 12:35 pm (UTC)Rose cries because you make her sad with your clueless slutty ways. I am volatile because you make me angry with your clueless slutty ways, I don't cry, I am an adult, I lash out like normal well-adjusted adults do.
*studies graph*
If I were to plot out your own score on these exact same things on this graph like so
*marks up graph in red pen*
it would lead me to the inevitable conclusion that Rose and myself should stay in the caravan and you should sod the hell off yourself.
*connects some lines*
Especially the "empathy" one is really bringing down your average, my darling, do you see?
*points*
And the one here that says "sluttiness"
*points again*
*adds new thing*
And this score on "in love with own mother", you don't do too well on that one either.
Idiot.
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Date: 2006-07-18 12:40 pm (UTC)You should be nice to me, or I might not pick you. I am going to deduct a point for you being horrid to me.
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Date: 2006-07-18 12:45 pm (UTC)What, calling you an idiot, that's worth a deduction of one point is it? How about this?
*slaps you hard*
How much is that, then, eh?
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Date: 2006-07-18 12:48 pm (UTC)*is slapped*
That is two extra points. Because it was quite sexy.
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Date: 2006-07-18 12:55 pm (UTC)*smacks your arse*
Were you born this way or has it taken you 900-odd years of hard graft to become this unfathomable and fucked-up?
God, I love you ,you horny fucked up bastard. Please don't send me away. *licks your neck* I'll do anything you want. Anything.no subject
Date: 2006-07-18 12:58 pm (UTC)It's a new thing. You lovely croissant of love.
Will you stop stealing the covers when I am asleep?no subject
Date: 2006-07-18 01:03 pm (UTC)Anything at all. You can have all the covers. I will sleep in a corner on the floor if that's what it takes. Please don't make me leave, I couldn't bear it. Also, I promise to never try and manipulate you by crying like a wee girl. Do I get another point for that?no subject
Date: 2006-07-18 01:09 pm (UTC)What sort of things do you like? I need to know for my little chart. *shows you the chart*
I think I would be happy with just you not stealing the covers.
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Date: 2006-07-18 01:15 pm (UTC)Umm, gardening, bananas, sex, architecture, the theatre, sucking dick, foodstuffs, bondage, pornography, emo Time Lords, babies, marquetry, not crying like a wee girl, chardonnay, phallic topiary, sex toys, interior design, lesbianism, alien cock, that sort of thing. Why?
I will never steal the covers again ever. Any other requests in the bedroom department?no subject
Date: 2006-07-18 01:18 pm (UTC)I will add those to my chart.
You are winning currently.
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Date: 2006-07-18 01:29 pm (UTC)Speaking of which, when you were off with Rose in Victorian England for the umpteenth time, I stroked the caravan quite a bit and got her to take me to Japan, it was sometime in the late 1980's. I think I may have inadvertently invented the word bukkake. Just thought you'd like to know, in case it creates one of those paradoxes you're always going on about.Oh and I love the caravan too. In ways you may not yet have witnessed, but one day I might show you. If you want to see, that is.
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Date: 2006-07-18 01:31 pm (UTC)Do you like things that are not sex?
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Date: 2006-07-18 01:38 pm (UTC)I also like baking cakes, weeding, hoeing, reading, painting, acting, dancing, singing, I adore housework and I am a mean seamstress when the mood takes me. And I love ironing your suit. And jam.
And mustard too, but let's not go there right now ok?And not stealing the covers.But, yes, most of all I love The Cock. And yours in particular.
*shows you preliminary privet topiary design*
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Date: 2006-07-18 01:39 pm (UTC)*kisses*
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Date: 2006-07-18 01:40 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-07-18 01:47 pm (UTC)Oh, my darling bird of the heavens. If only my mother liked you.
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Date: 2006-07-18 01:51 pm (UTC)I can try and make her like me? I can be all maternal and loving and sweet and do some baking and general woman type things?
Anything for you my horny angel. I love you.
*nibbles your ear*
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Date: 2006-07-18 01:54 pm (UTC)I don't know. I don't know if I want her to like me anyway. Nothing I do makes her happy. I could just kill her or something?
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Date: 2006-07-18 02:01 pm (UTC)Then we would have to keep both Freds, though, my love. See, I am also good at logic. Put that on your little list.
I could bake her some sort of cake of death? Get her back for her horrid treatment of you, my dearest darling alien love? I would kill for you, you do know that don't you?
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Date: 2006-07-18 02:04 pm (UTC)Sometimes I wish I had a nicer mother. Someone like you.
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Date: 2006-07-18 02:08 pm (UTC)Would you like me to do that mummy thing again? *strokes your hair* I don't mind, I really don't.
It only creeps me out just a tiny bit.*kisses your forehead* Anything for you, my silly little alien slutboy.no subject
Date: 2006-07-18 02:15 pm (UTC)I would like to not be Oedipal.
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Date: 2006-07-18 02:17 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-07-18 02:20 pm (UTC)I want to go somewhere sophisticated and drink wine and talk about art and then have a good long shag.
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Date: 2006-07-18 02:25 pm (UTC)Paris, my darling?
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Date: 2006-07-18 02:26 pm (UTC)We could go to somewhere that is not Paris. Prague, maybe. Vienna. Something European and artsy.
Who is Jean-François?
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Date: 2006-07-18 02:33 pm (UTC)Silly boy, he's a designer, and does stuff with wood. He's gay as an extremely gay thing. I think, anyway. I've never asked. He's certainly never shown an interest, and believe me I've tried it on. In the past, of course. Before I met you. Maybe he's just asexual?
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Date: 2006-07-18 02:36 pm (UTC)Would he be interested in joining us for the sex?
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Date: 2006-07-18 02:38 pm (UTC)Perhaps he might be interested in joining in, yes. You're a very attractive man, after all.
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Date: 2006-07-18 02:41 pm (UTC)I do adore you, but I have missed cock.
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Date: 2006-07-18 02:44 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-07-18 02:47 pm (UTC)Then we shall go there and it shall be wonderful and we shall shag quite a lot.
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Date: 2006-07-18 02:51 pm (UTC)Thank you, my love.
*kiss*
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Date: 2006-07-18 02:53 pm (UTC)sometimes i wish you had a cock.
not always. just sometimes.
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Date: 2006-07-18 02:57 pm (UTC)That's fine by me. I think it's quite hot. I know you're bored with your list, but put it on there just for the sake of accuracy. I love your love of cock.
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Date: 2006-07-18 03:04 pm (UTC)I will go take us to France