Waiting...
Jul. 2nd, 2006 01:09 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
mme_depompadourThe Doctor and Rose still have not returned from their outing to return my lovely emo TimeVatBaby to me. I knew I should have come along. I am afraid they might be having sex. I can't find the English mustard anywhere and this worries me. I hope they come back soon. If they make a new baby, or a new vat and put a newt in or something, I will be able to tell. And I will kill them both. I want my Fred back.
I have been doing some gardening in the caravan, it has a lovely garden.Sarah Jane told me it was there, but she didn't know exactly where it was, senile old cow. I did some hoeing and pruning yesterday I can't quite tell if the caravan can feel that, it seemed to shudder an bit when I stuck my hoe in the first time and today I planted hyacinth bulbs down one end of the garden. They should spell out "Fred" when they bloom. Oh, Fred please come back, I miss you so much. I'm sorry I put you in a vat. You can't beat a bit of whimsy in a garden. I created a topiary in the shape of a giant cock yesterday. I went a bit mad with the pruning. It turns out boxwood doesn't lend itself to phallic topiary very well so I ended up chopping the whole bloody thing down and setting fire to it. That was quite satisfying really.
If they are wasting time having sex instead of getting Fred back, I will torture them both with whips and chains.Or maybe not, he'd probably enjoy that. Weirdo.
I have been doing some gardening in the caravan, it has a lovely garden.
If they are wasting time having sex instead of getting Fred back, I will torture them both with whips and chains.
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Date: 2006-07-02 11:31 am (UTC)you keep that up.
we're not having sex. i can swear this on my life. no sex is occuring at this moment.
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Date: 2006-07-02 11:41 am (UTC)It is very relaxing, yes. I might plant some roses just for you, but only if you bring Fred back to me.
WHERE IS THE MUSTARD? If I find out you've been letting him suck more mustard I swear to God you will be sorry.
I just wanted a sandwich and the French mustard is all gone, it looks like the pot has been licked clean, and the English is nowhere to be found. I don't trust him anymore. I want to but I don't. I only just trust you.There had better not be. You're supposed to be getting my TimeVatBaby back. Get on with it, you've been gone for ages.
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Date: 2006-07-02 12:46 pm (UTC)He stole it from the cupboard. we need to get a lock on that or something. but it's fine, he got bored of his horniness really quick and also there were jam tarts on hand. he totally didn't eat them all before hand. nope. so it was fine.no subject
Date: 2006-07-02 01:39 pm (UTC)Maybe I'll touch you in other ways as well if you do. I've vowed to lay off the Time Cock for now. I hate him so muchI'll get an Ood to do some DIY on the condiment cupboard. We can't have this happening again. Tell him to get on with the Baby Getting Mission. Don't let him have any more jam either.no subject
Date: 2006-07-02 02:24 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-07-02 02:55 pm (UTC)Oh God you're not that man the Doctor and Rose have been going on about, are you? The one that made the Doctor love the cock? *fans self*no subject
Date: 2006-07-02 07:36 pm (UTC)The love of cock was already existent, my love.no subject
Date: 2006-07-02 09:35 pm (UTC)Ma'am, we have to talk. Lemme take you somewhere special and I'll tell you all about it.
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Date: 2006-07-02 03:57 pm (UTC)MY JACUZZI HAS BEEN SO LONELY WITHOUT YOU
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Date: 2006-07-02 09:34 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-07-02 09:44 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-07-02 09:48 pm (UTC)You mind if I take Madame de P. to the jacuzzi? We have some things we need to discuss.
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Date: 2006-07-02 09:58 pm (UTC)*FIRES UP THE JACUZZI FOR YOUR DISCUSSING PLEASURE*
I WOULDN'T MIND IF YOU DISCUSSED THINGS WITH THE DOCTOR TOO HE HAS MISSED YOUR
MASSIVE COCKCHARMING SMILEno subject
Date: 2006-07-02 10:10 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-07-02 07:35 pm (UTC)Have you stolen my baby, you flithy slapper?
Sorry, I meant to say "hi, how are you."
But have you?
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Date: 2006-07-02 09:33 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-07-02 09:35 pm (UTC)So, about my vat-baby...
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Date: 2006-07-02 09:51 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-07-02 09:52 pm (UTC)You're quite hot, by the way. I missed you.no subject
Date: 2006-07-02 10:09 pm (UTC)Jacuzzi?
And don't wear that stripy Victorian bathing suit this time. It does nothing for you.
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Date: 2006-07-02 10:12 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-07-02 04:17 pm (UTC)THIS DOCTOR LIKES GARDENS BUT IS RATHER RUBBISH AT THEM
THE HOE DID HURT A BIT JUST AT FIRST BUT KIND OF IN THAT GOOD WAYYOU MIGHT WANT TO PUT THAT VENUSIAN STRANGLER IVY IN A PLOT BY ITSELF THOUGH I WOULD HATE TO SEE IT DAMAGE THOSE LOVELY VIOLETS
THAT TOPIARY WAS RATHER INTRIGUING
ALTHOUGH IF YOU WANTED IT TO LOOK MORE LIKE THE DOCTOR'S IT SHOULD HAVE SLANTED OFF TO THE RIGHT A BIT MORE
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Date: 2006-07-03 08:55 am (UTC)I like hoeing. I might break out the rake soonI might get rid of the strangler ivy alltogether, there's something a bit ominous about it.
It just wasn't working for me. Setting fire to it was the best thing I've ever done, gardening-wise. I hope I didn't scorch you. I might make a new one, but right now the thought of his cock is making me ill. Useless bastard. It's a very nice cock though. I hate him.